Nurturing Connection: Ideas to Strengthening Your Relationship

In the fast-paced and ever-changing landscape of our lives, maintaining and enhancing our relationships requires intentional effort and adaptability. Below are suggestions filled with professional insights and friendly advice on strengthening your relationship this year. From embracing change to fostering deeper connections, these strategies encompass a range of aspects to fortify the bonds that matter most.

Allow Space for People to Change

  • Recognize Evolution: Acknowledge that people, including close family and friends, evolve over time.

  • Ask Thoughtful Questions: Periodically inquire about their interests and current life experiences using prompts like "What are you into now?" or "What is going on in your life that I don't know about?"

  • Maintain Genuine Closeness: Embrace the changes in your loved ones to sustain authentic connections over the years.

Build Common Goals Together

  • Align Intentions: Share your personal goals and aspirations for the year with your partner.

  • Create Common Goals: Establish shared objectives, whether financial or wellness-related, to strengthen your sense of unity.

  • Team Dynamics: Working towards common goals fosters a sense of teamwork, enhancing mutual support.

Prioritize Connection Over Technology

  • Answer the Phone: When possible, show your partner they are a priority by answering calls, even for a brief "hi," and schedule longer calls. Also, recognize that your partner may not always be available to answer the phone and do not take it personally.

  • Beware of 'Phubbing' (Phone Snubbing): Avoid constant phone distractions (texting, gaming, scrolling, or watching videos) during face-to-face interactions, especially in romantic partnerships.

  • Tech-Free Time: Designate periods without divices to focus on each other, fostering genuine and undivided attention.

Embrace Different Types of Desire

  • Recognize Two Types of Desire: 1) Spontaneously wanting sex and 2) getting in the mood in response to a partner's advances. Understand and accept both spontaneous and responsive desires are valid in intimate relationships. It is possible to schedule opportunities for sex as long as both partners are willing.

  • Make Sex a Priority: Prioritize intimacy in long-term relationships by scheduling and treating it as a vital aspect of connection.

  • Consent and Willingness: Focus on willingness and consent rather than relying solely on spontaneous desire.

Refine Argument Strategies

  • Avoid Generalizations: Refrain from using phrases like "you always" or "you never" during arguments.

  • Change Argument Language: Use "I feel" statements to express emotions instead of placing blame.

  • Couples as Allies: Frame arguments as joint problem-solving endeavors rather than conflicts between partners.

Harness the Power of Compliments

  • Offer Genuine Compliments: Overcome hesitations and offer sincere compliments, acknowledging the positive aspects of others.

  • Being Specific Matters: Be specific in compliments to convey genuine appreciation and reinforce emotional connections.

  • Physical Affection: In long-term relationships, increase physical affection at unexpected times to rejuvenate emotional intimacy. Break out of the routine by putting a little more thought into being affectionate.

Navigate Challenging Family Dynamics

  • Focus on What You Can Control: Accept that you cannot change family members; instead, focus on your reactions and responses.

  • Healthy Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and realistic expectations to navigate challenging family relationships.

  • Self-Reflection: Assess what actions or responses could improve the relationship, independent of others' changing.

Embrace Introversion for Deeper Connections

  • Understand Introversion: Recognize introversion as a different social orientation, not antisocial behavior.

  • Respect Preferences: Allow introverts to embrace their natural tendencies and create social connections that align with their comfort levels.

  • Initiate Plans: If you are an introvert, seek opportunities to be social, and sometimes take the lead to initiate plans fostering genuine connections on your terms.

Ask Simple Questions in Times of Distress

  • Identify Needs: When someone is upset, ask if they want to be helped, heard, or hugged, tailoring your response to their emotional needs.

  • Different Emotions = Different Responses: Recognize that reassurance may not be universally effective and that various emotions require personalized responses.

  • Show Love in Their Language: Understand and fulfill your partner's emotional needs by aligning with their love language, whether it's acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, or physical touch.

Infuse Laughter and Novelty into Your Relationship

  • Prioritize Laughter: Share funny moments regularly to create joy and reinforce emotional closeness.

  • Try Something New Together: Engage in novel experiences as a couple, whether exploring new hobbies, trying new restaurants, or experimenting in the bedroom.

  • Solo Exploration: Balance shared experiences with individual pursuits to maintain a sense of self within the relationship.

In weaving these strategies into the fabric of your relationship, this year promises deeper connections, resilience in the face of challenges, and a renewed sense of intimacy. Decide this year to embark on a journey of growth and closeness. Strengthening your relationship is not a one-time task but a continuous process of learning, adapting, and cherishing the unique bond you share. Here's to a year filled with love, laughter, and enduring connections!

Susan Derry