Below is a brief list of true/false statements to get you thinking about the quality of your relationship. Answer as honestly as possible. You cannot make improvements until you acknowledge the current state of your relationship. Finding the areas of your relationship that need improving creates an opportunity to begin to make positive changes.
1. I am satisfied with our sex life.
2. My partner really listens to me.
3. I trust my partner.
4. I do not feel picked on or put down.
5. I am hopeful about our future.
6. It is easy to share my feelings with my partner.
7. I cannot imagine myself divorced.
8. I do not have to be right.
9. My partner treats me with dignity and respect.
10. My partner trusts me.
11. We often do fun things together.
12. I never just want to hurt my partner.
13. I would rather deal with a problem than lie about it.
14. I am free to be myself in our relationship.
15. I do not feel trapped.
16. My partner is open to suggestions.
17. I never feel judged or rejected by my partner.
17. My partner cares if I am upset or sad.
18. I listen to understand my partner.
19. I do not judge or reject my partner.
20. My partner shares his/her feelings with me.
You probably have noticed that for these questions, the more times you responded true, the better the state of your relationship. Don't get discouraged if you have answered false to several of the questions. Accept that any questions with false as the response helps you identify areas that need improving. As long as you are willing to see items with false as your response as feedback, rather than thinking of them as failure, you have the power to make positive changes in your relationship. We can only change and improve those things for which we are willing to acknowledge and take responsibility.
Use this quiz as the beginning of a conversation (or several conversations) about how you would like your relationship to be. You might consider talking to a counselor if you get stuck at this point. Couples counseling can help you navigate or remove hazards you may have unintentionally created in your relationship.