Just a few minutes to rate the quality of your relationship. You might also consider using this quiz as the beginning of a conversation (or several conversations) about how you would like your relationship to be.
Faulty thinking can take the joy out of living. People’s minds can play tricks on them, leading them to view the world as if through dark sunglasses. The misery an individual is experiencing is probably proportional to the extent of their faulty thinking habits. Therapy is often focused on changing habitual thought patterns so that they run along more positive, life enhancing tracks.
Couples have issues with communication, trust, difficulty managing their emotions, and differences in values, expectations, and priorities. And these are just a few of the possible problems. However, there is one indicator that can predict, with incredible accuracy, the demise of your relationship. This predictor involves either or both of you acting with a particular attitude or stance.
Scientific evidence suggests that our brain has a built-in negativity bias. This tendency is part of what has allowed us to survive over millions of years. Our survival depended on constant vigilance to detect danger. However, noticing the good must become a practice if we want to rewire our brain for success in our relationship.
Conflict is an inevitable part of even the best relationships. Whether you call it fighting, disagreeing, or discussing, most relationships could benefit from less suppression of feelings and more honest effort to resolve conflicts. If you claim you have never had a conflict in your relationship, chances are one of you is not expressing their opinions or needs and this will most likely result in a build-up of resentment.
Typically when we think of spending vs. investing, we are talking about money. You can likewise invest your time in your relationship, rather than just spending your time together. When I say, stop spending time together, I mean stop wasting the precious time that you have together. How do we waste the precious time we have for each other?
As you think about the state of your relationship, I hope that you will take the time to evaluate your expectations for your partner and your relationship. Although it is great to consistently strive to improve your relationship, there is a danger of slipping into criticism when expectations are not met.
Traditions represent a critical part of family culture. When you join two family cultures together, in a marriage or relationship, you have important decisions to make about what to keep and what to let go and how to create your unique family culture. The idea of developing traditions may sound stuffy and old-fashioned, but they can be fun as well.
The key to developing resilient relationships begins with the connection that you have with your self. Other than your relationship with God or your higher power, your most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. All your relationships will reflect and be influenced by how you treat yourself. If you are struggling to love and accept yourself, it will be difficult for you to trust or feel the love offered by your partner.
Giving gifts is one way to demonstrate love for your partner. Gift giving has the potential to bring joy or hurt, disappointment or friction in your relationship. Whether it is gifts of love or material gifts, putting some thought into the gift can result in enjoyment rather than disappointment.
The following are some thoughts that may be helpful:
At times in relationships, we let our feelings get the best of us. Some people allow their anger to cover hurt, sadness or fear and then attack their partner by unloading a dump truck full of venom and frustration on them. This venting type of communication is completely aggressive. Others tend to stuff their feelings and upset, making cryptic comments or saying nothing at all.